Maximizers and Satisficers

A few days ago I made a visit to the library to find a few books that’d be to my liking. When my visit was over, I was carrying six books underneath my arms. Why? In case I find one of the books uninteresting or boring, I am always able to put it down and pick another book instead. This kind of behavior is not uncommon to me; I am what the modern psychologists would call maximizer. I am always trying to maximize my experiences - as opposed to satisficers, those who seem, for the most part, to be satisfied. At a first glance it might seem favorable to be a maximizer, since we automatically assume that maximization will lead to a more complete state of being but I am living proof of the opposite.

In the process of finding ways to make things better, one must always approach them with a negative attitude. To improve a situation, for example, there has to be something wrong with it to begin with. As a satisficer, there seems to be no reason not to be content with what one is given and they are therefore generally pleased with life and all its shortcomings. Maximizers, i.e. me, on the other hand, obsesses over the most minor details in their desperate ambition to live a more fulfilling life. The consequence is obvious; instead of utilizing our possibilities we are constantly unsatisfied with what we experience and achieve. This blog, for instance, could be a whole lot better and my contempt for imperfection makes me unwilling to even try posting something most days.

So there I was, carrying six books from the library. It is not an unusual sight, a young person borrowing several books from the library, but the main reason as to why I chose to borrow that many books was not because I wanted to read them all. The fact of the matter was that I couldn’t decide which one to read. Which book will give me the most fulfilling experience? was my only question when I scoured the shelves of our local library. Not being able to know beforehand if any of the books were worth my time, I picked a couple of them in case the one I started reading would get boring or, even worse, if it didn’t give me the intellectual stimulation I demanded from the time I was to invest in it.

The constant feeling of being unsatisfied is not only mentally exhausting, it also makes it hard for me to enjoy life while, at the same time, hindering me from feeling pleased with myself, my achievements and my surroundings. The principle of maximization in, for example, economy, sciences and government are crucial to the development of modern society, but as a personal characteristic it can become overwhelming. In my attempts to control this impulse, I have tried to set up certain rules:

• Limit the time you spend making the decision
• When having made a decision, never regret it
• Focus of the benefits of your choice
• Never regret having made a certain decision

And the most important thing to learn in bridling one’s thoughts:

• Make peace with your mind

A short reflection on the philosophy of Eckart Tolle

After having read both The Power of Now and A New World, two books which I thought would be of great importance for me, instead of feeling emotionally enlightened I feel nothing but contempt for Tolle’s ideas of how one should live life. As an atheist who believes in the sanctity of individualism, the idea of Being as an invisible bond between man, animal and nature (Being is to Tolle’s philosophy what Atman is to Hinduism). He argues that the ego, that is our individual wants and needs, is heavily opposed to the true state of “Being” and that it is the goal of every human being to transcend into the state of Being (if you think that I am already repeating myself, try reading the aforementioned books) and thus experiencing the true meaning of existence by discarding our egoism and individual needs in order to achieve Happiness.
The thing that strikes me the most with Tolle’s philosophy is the total opposition to the core of humanity and modern civilization. To enter the state of true Being, one must not only discard our greatest hopes and fears but also the one thing that makes us human, that makes us the individuals we are; our memory. I am of the firm belief that personality is defined by our wants, needs, mistakes and moments of suffering. Not allowing ourselves to be in contact with our memories and their influences on our emotions is contra productive to the evolution of humanity. Living in the moment, in Eckart Tolle’s definition, is to let go of the core foundations of our existence.
Every civilization is characterized by a different mindset, a result of the melting pot of ideas deriving from the endless experiences of its inhabitants. All human beings are, therefore, a separate entities in a larger scheme of things. Individuality is a natural state of civilization simply because the life of every individual is different. Our experiences of reality are wholly unique, which is the only reason as to why cultures and peoples differ in the most rudimentary ways. Should we allow ourselves to forget who we are, to forget our strengths and weaknesses (which, as everything else, is a result of our ways of life), the development of modern civilization will cease.
For Tolle, our greatest enemy is the sense of dissatisfaction, of always wanting more, but instead of trying to overcome dissatisfaction (as Tolle argues that we should), modern man has embraced this weakness and transformed it into a positive driving force for the future welfare of the human society. The core of evolution is the need to improve and the ability to do so. As with all human characteristics, there is always the danger of wallowing in negativity, but these moments are also a part of our lives. What Eckart Tolle fails to admit is that we must all live through the hardships of life in order to become complete. Avoiding the ego, i.e. our individualism and personality, would result in the fall of modern civilization and all the things we associate with it; science, culture, education etc. The current forms of these manifestations have come into being simply because we have allowed ourselves to remember and learn from past mistakes, and the only reason that they are still evolving is simply because our “ego’s” need for improvement has proved to be a fruitful incentive for the future betterment of humanity.

We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on. (Richard P. Feynman)

“Me, me, me!”

One of the most important foundations in a society is the common set of ethical rules and laws which every individual must acknowledge and abide by. Every new generation brings with it a new perspective on the current state of the society and they must all try to adhere to their own interests while trying to meet the demands and expectations of their social environment. The gap between the philosophies of the younger and older generations have grown in recent years as a result of the technological evolution and the social possibilities that it has brought along with it. As a result, the generational differences have widened. Not only socially but also philosophically.

The hippie movements of the 70’s marked the beginning of what some are calling the first “Me-Generation”; a generation of people prioritizing individual happiness and prosperity while often ignoring the welfare of other citizens. It popularized the use of Eastern and Asian medicine and more people seemed to become more aware of the state of not only their physical health, but also their spiritual and emotional health. As a consequence, a new wave of egotism swept the Western nations as people became convinced that one has to believe oneself in order to become an achiever in the truest capitalist sense of the word.

Every following generation seems to have spun further down this track, leading to a new, more ego-centered “Me-Generation” than the preceding one. It is obvious that today’s culture is obsessed with the maximization of individual self-esteem which, in turn, has led the current generation to become the most self-centered one yet. How is this a bad thing, you might ask? Paradoxically enough, I am convinced that our egotism will become the death of us, as we are constantly convinced that we are unhappy. The goal of every parent is to make sure that their child is confident, naturally so, but what has happened is that every new generation is more infatuated with themselves than the previous ever had the chance to become.

Our children are seldom allowed to experience defeat. Afraid of what consequences the confrontation with reality might have on our children, we won’t let anyone stand out from the rest. Ever attended a child contest? Everyone is a winner, no one is a loser. These children, growing up with a false sense of self-esteem as a result of always believing that what they do will be more than enough to get through life’s hardships, will face reality in the harshest way possible. They will fall into depression and self-doubt as they have no clue as to how to approach the world they’ve been plunged into when their nations decided that they were old enough to take care of themselves.

The ideology of the “Me-Generation” has left a devastating mark on the Western culture. Not only do we not properly prepare our children for the only lives they are given, we ourselves live in constant unhappiness since we never will experience the social anarchy and self-perpetuation. Never before has self-help books and seminars had such a big audience; we have been disillusioned into believing that there is something wrong with us as we do not seem to cope with our social surroundings. Always in search of something more, never realizing our true potential (or lack of it), we are proof of one of the greatest paradoxes of all time; how the most prosperous society can foster the unhappiest people.

Boundaries

I am of the firm belief that existence serves no purpose in itself, that the purpose of life must be created and that it is an individual endeavor. In no way can one possibly argue that there exists such a thing as a definitive way of living life, since there is no such thing as an objective emotional state. Our thoughts and actions do not conform to an external source of truth; the human perspective is limited to the experiences of the isolated individual, making it difficult not only to come to definitive conclusions (especially since our experiences are dimmed by the subjectivism of our minds and our ever-increasing number of experiences) but also to be understood by, as well as understand, other human beings.

Our admirable ability to adapt to new situations is the key towards becoming a self-confident individual. However, if one has yet to find an inner confidence, i.e. peace, the life will seem as a frightening experience riddled with inconsistences and uncertainty. Whenever a sudden change occurs in the lives of those who have found comfort in external things, be it other human beings or soulless things, and they lose the things they inaccurately believe to be essential, these individuals reach a state of panic. Sadly, most people have not come to terms with themselves as of yet and are therefore living what might appear to be an unsettling existence.

In today’s society most of us believe that panic, neurosis, a sense of not belonging and other signs of nervousness to be natural elements in modern life, that times of panic are to be expected come, say, graduation or retirement. Most of us have misled ourselves into believing that life ought to be governed by a transcendental meaning or purpose, be it universal or personal, and that we must seek comfort in the external world. The truth of the matter is that the most important thing is not to seek meaning and comfort by trying to conform by, for example, settling down, getting a mortgage or in any other way tieing oneself to external objects as a way of avoiding the uncertainties of life.

 

Letting bygones be bygones

(An attempt at describing the way I’m currently feeling - which, already, is in need of thorough revising and rethinking.)

Last Thursday, I was supposed to visit my grandmother at the hospital. Suffering from leukemia, visits to the hospital are fairly common, but I still feel a need to visit her as often as possible during her blood transfusions and appointments with doctors. Having overslept, I woke up too late for her latest visit and wound up angry at myself for not showing up. Five hours later, however, I did visit the hospital, but for all the wrong reasons; just before dinner time I was about to go to the store to buy a bottle of ketchup when I fell down a flight of stairs, cracking the small of my back. Traumatized and suffering from memory loss, unable to move my legs, the ambulance drove me to the emergency room where I was told that I had to spend the night at the hospital.

Having been told not to move my body more than necessary (getting up was definitely out of the question), I was taken to the orthophaedic floor. I was soon placed in a room in which I realized that I was the only one below the age of 65. The night passed by fairly painless, mainly because of the morphine that the doctor had given me. At 8 AM, I woke up to the sound of nurses handing out breakfast plates while asking us patients how we were feeling. I suddenly felt old and fragile, as if my life had passed unnoticed in front of me and that I now was facing death. The sound of the sick elderlies’ coughs bounced against the beige walls, causing a brutal sound that must’ve reminded them of their imminent deaths. There I was, a 19 year-old assuming the role of someone much older. The dementia of some of the patients soon showed its face and I was suddenly seized by a feeling of regret. What kind of life have I been living, what have I attained so far? The answer amounted to: nothing. Willingly popping a few more pills handed to me by a nurse, I realized that I had lost hope.

Death, the most natural of occurences, is an event most of us spend our whole lives trying to avoid, but is avoiding the unavoidable constructive in any way? My night at the hospital proved to be an eye-opener in my life, and even though only a few days have passed I find myself with a new perspective (that I have yet to apply to life, since I’m still unable to perform simple acts as brushing my teeth without feeling a sharp sting of pain). Reminding myself of my imminent death affects my behavior, forcing me to re-evaluate my actions and plans. I do no longer find sitting in the couch for a whole day, working at a 9-to-5 job, not having any particular goals, no striving, to be adequate. I want change; I want to change something; I want to change someone; I want to change myself. Set goals, create, deconstruct, let bygones be bygones and move on. If you ain’t busy living, you’re busy dying.

Paradigm

After a few frustrating attempts at creating a new blog I’ve finally decided to give it one more try. The purpose of this blog is to keep myself, but also those interested, posted on my goal to live as I’ve learned. Having a talent for judging other people and their mishaps has led me to the conclusion that I have to set my values straight and prove (once and for all?) that it is possible to live life according to a seemingly impossible set of rules. Therefore, I’ll be posting about the ethics of my convictions as well as my personal experiences of confronting my own mistakes and regrets. All in all, I will be walking down the path of self-righteousness.